A Dark Secret

Wise women say that you should always

Let go of what has let go of you.

So you learn to live without someone.

But, what if you cannot let him go,

No matter how hard you try?

You even forget him on most days.

As if he never breathed the same air as you.

And, yet suddenly out of the blue something happens.

And, in a minute you’re transported

Back to the time when he ruled your heart.

You thought you owned your heart.

Nothing could be further from truth.

It may be a passing remark, or a faint smell,

Or, the fleeting tunes of a song

That you used to sing to each other.

And, immediately you can see him in front of you.

Next to you, so real as if he never left.

And, in your heart of hearts you know

That you may think you have let them go.

But, deep down in your bones

He’s imprinted forever.

You’ve drowned in his dreams,

And, woken up to his kisses.

You thought poetry was your favourite

Dish that he was born to feed you.

Whether you like it or not,

Your body has kept score.

You’re still wearing him in your layers,

Like the lingering wet weather in the city.

There’s a part of you

That you gave to him,

And, unknowingly he also left

A part of him with you

That only you will ever know.

The love you give away so freely

Is often the only love you get to keep.

That is why sometimes you can live

Seven lifetimes with someone in seven days,

While you may spend seven years

With someone, and, still feel like

You can never really fathom the real him.

Such are our perfectly imperfect lives

Always cocooned in lies of truth,

And, truth of lies.

You never know which one is real.

A good lie is swift, necessary,

And, almost convincing.

A bad truth lingers on,

Composting like a rotten tea leaves,

Refusing to die a slow death.

Love was there then,

Love is there now,

But what do you do

When hearts don’t align?

You may have cried buckets when he left,

But a part of you secretly rejoiced.

It’s hard to digest a dark secret.

Only you know that you’re someone

Who could never love him forever.

That’s why you pushed him away

And, sabotaged the dream.

It’s so much easier on the conscience

When you’re not the one letting go.

About Amrita Ghosh

About Moi - I like to think I am a simple person while most people tend to disagree. I like lots of things, sometimes quite contrary ones, a
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