It’s a mild winter Sunday,
and, also the start of a new year.
Pondering about a year of relationships
that like a runaway train
went crashing off in unwanted directions,
I wonder if it’s warmth of love or heat of jealousy
that made for such a hot start to the day.
Can either be measured on the scales of profit and loss?
Do they happen because they must?
Like the flower that withered away smiling,
or, the moonlight that disappeared in joy?
I think I know Love well,
so well that sometimes I despise it
with contempt grown out of familiarity.
Like a fool, I’ve shunned all that could be kind,
seeking love without really expecting it.
And, in place of Love,
I’ve ended up feeling like a wounded Dove.
After many an erosion, and contra-indication
only the good memories survived
as an ode to all that had once seemed beautiful and true.
The excess baggage that I couldn’t shake off
got stuck to me like glue.
But, not all failed relationships are that bad
because they’ve finally brought me to you.
I was very young; I forget exactly at what age it was
when I started looking for you.
No memories remain to guide me back to the start.
All I know is that I remain young at heart.
Pondering over what I didn’t get,
I console my heart to let bygones be.
I would never have found you, my newest you
If all of the past hadn’t happened to me.
Just when peace has snuffed out the long-suffering flame,
like a bolt from the blue you crash-landed in my life.
And, like a crazy rhyme looping in my head,
I turn to the Universe, and ask, ‘Why now? Why again?’
Unsure of giving in to another crazy cause
I decide to stop searching, and, pause.
Perhaps, a stray memory will help me return some day,
guiding me to where I belong, somewhere along the way.