Unfinished Conversations

Learning to let go of the imaginary

unfinished conversations like

the trees let go of the leaves in Autumn

has been a process of shedding skin

and extra weight that used to

cling to my bloated waist

like the fireflies thronging to light.

I realise that you did not deserve me

and I deserved so much better.

Instead I got stuck on repeat

with a clearly unnecessary cycle

that in turn necessitated

some unfinished conversations

with myself, more than anyone else.

It took me all these years to

finish those conversations

and allow my body to heal.

Thank you Universe for allowing me

time and space to hibernate and recuperate,

to create space where I can cradle the balance

of light and shade in between my palms.

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Posted in Autumn, blessings, Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Fall, Feelings, gratitude, healing, lessons, Life, Love, Musings, poem, Poetry, Reflections, Thoughts | Leave a comment

A Moment

In this moment,

Do you realise

That in the next moment

This moment

Is going to die,

A quick crushing death?

So live each moment

As a moment deserves

To be lived, and loved,

Mindfully and slowly.

Seize it and fill it to the brim

With love and nothing else.

And, watch how the moment

Savours you back,

Breathing into your belly

And making you whole,

And giving you a lifetime,

While you let it slide

To celebrate its own death.

Posted in change, Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Feelings, Flowing, gratitude, healing, lessons, Looking Ahead, Musings, My Life, poem, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Rumination, Thoughts, time | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Autumn Equinox

Dusk poured into the inkish grey sky,

An eagle broke out from the neighbourhood tree,

The roof top garden still glowed

From the warmth of the Autumn sun

And, I knew that this part of my life was over.

To everything that I’ve ever lost,

I give thanks for setting me free.

I’ve learnt that I shouldn’t worry about losing.

People, relationships, money.

You name it, and I’ve lost it.

I’ve made an art out of losing.

I know that time and tide won’t wait for me.

But I also know that if it’s meant to be mine,

It will come and find me on divine timing.

It will happen, if it’s right for me.

The main thing is to hurry slowly.

Don’t stop hustling, but also align.

Nothing good ever comes of hurrying.

Nothing that is mine will ever get away.

Posted in Autumn, blessings, change, Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Feelings, grateful heart, gratitude, healing, lessons, Life, Looking Ahead, Manifesto, Musings, My Life, poem, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Rumination, Seasons, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Unfollowing You

When I ousted you out of my life
It created a void that I struggled to deal with.
But in unfollowing you on social media,
It created a bigger void that I was crushed about.
Who am I going to tag on my memes now?
Who is going to laugh at my 2 am jokes?
And, like my numerous selfies? Who?!?
Perhaps what I needed was just some insta follower,
And not a real relationship anyway.
As the realisation dawned on me,
I picked myself up and dusted you off
Knowing that the next social media soul mate
Is making his way to me soon enough.
Posted in Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Feelings, Humor, lessons, Life, Love, Musings, poem, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Social Networking, Thoughts

Washing My Spirits Clean

Have you seen the moon tonight?
That was a full moon night too.
That night when we fell apart,
And, my first thought was of our start.
The air was pregnant with endless possibilities. 
You had looked into my eyes, 
And, asked if it was a good idea.
I’d said No without asking what you meant.
But in that instant my soul recognised you
From another lifetime and another space,
And I fell for you irrevocably, forever. 
So I floated in your love, and settled down in it
Only to be rudely awakened to a stare of silence,
To realise that I was just a fleeting fancy for you.
I had wanted to grow old with you. 
I was foolish to think you cared.
You’re the kind who makes it his business 
To capture what you cannot keep,
To conquer hearts, break them and move on. 
I mourned you then, but I thank you now
For teaching me lessons that I needed to learn.
You’re a mistake that I’d rather not recycle. 
Today, I’ve washed my spirits clean.
Apparently I am old enough to know better. 
Still young enough to not care when I’m told to,
And, most importantly experienced enough 
To know that I will continue to do 
What I feel is right, when and where it matters. 
Posted in blessings, Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Feelings, healing, lessons, Life, longing, Love, Memories, moon, Musings, Nature, Nostalgia, poem, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Relationships, Seasons, September, soulmates, Spirituality, Thoughts, Youth

A Dark Secret

Wise women say that you should always

Let go of what has let go of you.

So you learn to live without someone.

But, what if you cannot let him go,

No matter how hard you try?

You even forget him on most days.

As if he never breathed the same air as you.

And, yet suddenly out of the blue something happens.

And, in a minute you’re transported

Back to the time when he ruled your heart.

You thought you owned your heart.

Nothing could be further from truth.

It may be a passing remark, or a faint smell,

Or, the fleeting tunes of a song

That you used to sing to each other.

And, immediately you can see him in front of you.

Next to you, so real as if he never left.

And, in your heart of hearts you know

That you may think you have let them go.

But, deep down in your bones

He’s imprinted forever.

You’ve drowned in his dreams,

And, woken up to his kisses.

You thought poetry was your favourite

Dish that he was born to feed you.

Whether you like it or not,

Your body has kept score.

You’re still wearing him in your layers,

Like the lingering wet weather in the city.

There’s a part of you

That you gave to him,

And, unknowingly he also left

A part of him with you

That only you will ever know.

The love you give away so freely

Is often the only love you get to keep.

That is why sometimes you can live

Seven lifetimes with someone in seven days,

While you may spend seven years

With someone, and, still feel like

You can never really fathom the real him.

Such are our perfectly imperfect lives

Always cocooned in lies of truth,

And, truth of lies.

You never know which one is real.

A good lie is swift, necessary,

And, almost convincing.

A bad truth lingers on,

Composting like a rotten tea leaves,

Refusing to die a slow death.

Love was there then,

Love is there now,

But what do you do

When hearts don’t align?

You may have cried buckets when he left,

But a part of you secretly rejoiced.

It’s hard to digest a dark secret.

Only you know that you’re someone

Who could never love him forever.

That’s why you pushed him away

And, sabotaged the dream.

It’s so much easier on the conscience

When you’re not the one letting go.

Posted in Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Feelings, lessons, Life, longing, Looking Ahead, Love, melancholy, Memories, Musings, Nostalgia, poem, Poetry, Random pieces of Moi, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Relationships, Secrets, soulmates, Thoughts, Youth

The Birthday Post

Most of life as we know it is about conversations. Majority of the time, we spend it having conversations with the world or trying to avoid conversing with them. But the ones that really matter are the conversations that we have with ourselves.

Recently on my birthday, an insta follower asked me how does it feel to be my age? Without blinking an eyelid, I said, ‘It feels great. I love where I am and cherish it every day.’

He asked me if I feel old, and how do I manage the challenges of aging? This is something I get asked all the time. Sometimes I meet people who are so scared to get old. They can’t believe the age that I’m in and always try to correlate looks and attitude with numerical age.

Do you even realise that getting old and aging gracefully are privileges denied to many? Why is it necessary to think of your age in numerical terms? Why can’t you start thinking of age by the dreams you have achieved, the struggles you’ve overcome, the hope that keeps you going, the ambitions waiting to be fulfilled and the goals that are beckoning you to flow towards them?

Count your age by the number of times a pet or a child came running to you and gave you a tight hug, the times you made up with your parents or brother or sister after a fight, the number of times your partner or spouse reached out and held your hand in the dark of the night when you couldn’t fall asleep.

Count your age by the number of times you bounced back from an illness, a broken relationship or a failed job with resilience and your spirit intact, the number of good people who have crossed your path and the ones who’ve chosen to stay, the number of times your team high fived you, the number of times your manager at work told you how much value you add to the Company and people’s lives, the number of times a customer thanked you, the number of times you watched a sunset peacefully or listened to an old favourite song while watching the rains. The list is endless, and I could go on.

The trick to feeling joy and happiness every day where you are is to be aware of all the abundance in your life and to be grateful for it. Abundance is not always about material possessions. It is so much more. It is the very essence of life. Also, it pays to remember that all of life is about the choices you make, the chances you take and how you manage to sail through changes.

Know one thing, every year fills your backpack with adventure and wisdom, experience and delight that you can carry with you on your next journey and perhaps help to make someone else’s life better!

Practically speaking, my life as I have known it for a couple of decades is currently experiencing that seasonal phase in a television show, perhaps season 5, where the script is meandering and has gone haywire, the writers don’t know what to do next and the actors are just winging it. And, the protagonist knows that the plot is clearly falling apart.

Yet, standing here today I remind myself that it may seem like everything is going against me, but always remember the airplane takes off against the wind. So I’m confident that I am flowing in the direction of my life path, my mission, my vision, the best version of my life that is still waiting to be lived. And I’m excited, despite the uncertainties. I know, whatever I do, and wherever I go, the Universe has my back. I am wrapped in love, hope, hugs and prayers.

~ The Amrita Connection

@theamritaconnection

#theamritaconnection

Posted in Adventure, August, birthday, blessings, change, Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Feelings, Flowing, grateful heart, gratitude, lessons, Life, Looking Ahead, Love, Musings, My Life, Random pieces of Moi, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Relationships, Rumination, Seasons, Social Networking, Thoughts, Youth | Leave a comment