A Sunday Moment

A Sunday moment flows and rustles
with depth and loneliness.
Both together fills the void with
silence like deep blue.
No earth, no sky above.
Just me, my breath and my heartbeat,
I now believe I exist.
I exist in that space 
Where I meet myself
Between the love that I’ve lost
And the love that I hope to find.
But I know now that
I am enough for love itself,
That I’ve always been enough,
And, now I’m inhabiting a space 
Where I’ve finally found 
The strength to love myself. 
It took me all these decades 
And a tsunami of emotions
To realise this small truth.
I used to think that Time
Will understand my remorse
And give me more chapters. 
But I know now that 
I am only as good as this moment.
Nothing more, nothing less.
It was never Love’s fault,
It was I who was broken. 
If I have healed today,
It’s because I met myself. 
In retrospect, I’ve paid the most 
For the things I got for nothing. 
Not too many people may get me
But the hardcore do understand,
And if I can touch a few score 
With my heart and mind,
Then it has been a life worth living. 
And, I hope one day I find a love 
That helps me heal others,
That love of me and you. 
Posted in Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Flowing, gratitude, healing, lessons, Life, Looking Ahead, Love, melancholy, Musings, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Relationships, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Holding Hands

The cold night seduces me

To the warmth of the bed.

Pulling up the covers in the dark

I reach out and hold your hand

To make mine less cold.

I ponder about our life together.

More often than not

We’re not on the same page.

Sometimes, I am ahead,

While you fall behind.

Sometimes you race ahead,

While I am still dragging my feet.

Sometimes we seem to be

Inhabiting two different planets.

But the sum of our flaws

Is what makes us whole.

We may not always see eye to eye

And, very often agree to disagree.

But what really matters is that we try.

In the end a happy marriage

Is one where we can both sleep

In peace, holding hands like otters

Comfortably numb, but knowing that

We did our bit to not drift apart.

And, just like that another year goes by,

Even the seven year itch fades too.

We snuggle up every night knowing

That holding hands in the dark

Makes every wrong of the day somehow right.

Posted in Autumn, blessings, Emotions, Experiences, gratitude, healing, longing, Looking Ahead, Love, marriage, Musings, My Life, poem, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Relationships, soulmates, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Unfinished Conversations

Learning to let go of the imaginary

unfinished conversations like

the trees let go of the leaves in Autumn

has been a process of shedding skin

and extra weight that used to

cling to my bloated waist

like the fireflies thronging to light.

I realise that you did not deserve me

and I deserved so much better.

Instead I got stuck on repeat

with a clearly unnecessary cycle

that in turn necessitated

some unfinished conversations

with myself, more than anyone else.

It took me all these years to

finish those conversations

and allow my body to heal.

Thank you Universe for allowing me

time and space to hibernate and recuperate,

to create space where I can cradle the balance

of light and shade in between my palms.

Posted in Autumn, blessings, Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Fall, Feelings, gratitude, healing, lessons, Life, Love, Musings, poem, Poetry, Reflections, Thoughts | Leave a comment

A Moment

In this moment,

Do you realise

That in the next moment

This moment

Is going to die,

A quick crushing death?

So live each moment

As a moment deserves

To be lived, and loved,

Mindfully and slowly.

Seize it and fill it to the brim

With love and nothing else.

And, watch how the moment

Savours you back,

Breathing into your belly

And making you whole,

And giving you a lifetime,

While you let it slide

To celebrate its own death.

Posted in change, Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Feelings, Flowing, gratitude, healing, lessons, Looking Ahead, Musings, My Life, poem, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Rumination, Thoughts, time | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Autumn Equinox

Dusk poured into the inkish grey sky,

An eagle broke out from the neighbourhood tree,

The roof top garden still glowed

From the warmth of the Autumn sun

And, I knew that this part of my life was over.

To everything that I’ve ever lost,

I give thanks for setting me free.

I’ve learnt that I shouldn’t worry about losing.

People, relationships, money.

You name it, and I’ve lost it.

I’ve made an art out of losing.

I know that time and tide won’t wait for me.

But I also know that if it’s meant to be mine,

It will come and find me on divine timing.

It will happen, if it’s right for me.

The main thing is to hurry slowly.

Don’t stop hustling, but also align.

Nothing good ever comes of hurrying.

Nothing that is mine will ever get away.

Posted in Autumn, blessings, change, Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Feelings, grateful heart, gratitude, healing, lessons, Life, Looking Ahead, Manifesto, Musings, My Life, poem, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Rumination, Seasons, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Unfollowing You

When I ousted you out of my life
It created a void that I struggled to deal with.
But in unfollowing you on social media,
It created a bigger void that I was crushed about.
Who am I going to tag on my memes now?
Who is going to laugh at my 2 am jokes?
And, like my numerous selfies? Who?!?
Perhaps what I needed was just some insta follower,
And not a real relationship anyway.
As the realisation dawned on me,
I picked myself up and dusted you off
Knowing that the next social media soul mate
Is making his way to me soon enough.
Posted in Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Feelings, Humor, lessons, Life, Love, Musings, poem, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Social Networking, Thoughts

Washing My Spirits Clean

Have you seen the moon tonight?
That was a full moon night too.
That night when we fell apart,
And, my first thought was of our start.
The air was pregnant with endless possibilities. 
You had looked into my eyes, 
And, asked if it was a good idea.
I’d said No without asking what you meant.
But in that instant my soul recognised you
From another lifetime and another space,
And I fell for you irrevocably, forever. 
So I floated in your love, and settled down in it
Only to be rudely awakened to a stare of silence,
To realise that I was just a fleeting fancy for you.
I had wanted to grow old with you. 
I was foolish to think you cared.
You’re the kind who makes it his business 
To capture what you cannot keep,
To conquer hearts, break them and move on. 
I mourned you then, but I thank you now
For teaching me lessons that I needed to learn.
You’re a mistake that I’d rather not recycle. 
Today, I’ve washed my spirits clean.
Apparently I am old enough to know better. 
Still young enough to not care when I’m told to,
And, most importantly experienced enough 
To know that I will continue to do 
What I feel is right, when and where it matters. 
Posted in blessings, Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Feelings, healing, lessons, Life, longing, Love, Memories, moon, Musings, Nature, Nostalgia, poem, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Relationships, Seasons, September, soulmates, Spirituality, Thoughts, Youth