A Sunday Flow

It’s a foggy, dreary

Morning that somehow

Disappears into the steaming

Cuppa of hot tea.

Sunday mornings like this

Makes me muse.

It took me

All these years

To understand

That the pain I felt

Was less from love,

And more from my

Clinginess to what had

Already served its purpose.

I promise myself this

In this coming year,

I am clearing the decks

And letting what is mine

Flow to me effortlessly.

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To All The Things That Broke Me

To all the things that broke me,

I acknowledge you,

Because, vulnerability is powerful too.

For the records, I did not need you.

But the truth is I wanted you.

And the lessons that it taught me

Broke me and the illusions I fostered.

It gave me the courage

To break open my shell

And love myself in all my flaws,

And allow myself to heal.

The death like grip I used

In holding on was gone,

Only to be replaced

By a gentle strength

To heal and move forward.

To everything that

I ever wanted, and the ones

That wanted me back,

I set you free,

Free to hold space for yourself

So that you too can feel the love

That I now feel within me.

Posted in Emotions, Experiences, Feelings, Musings, poem, Poetry, Reflections, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Close Enough

We were close enough.

Close enough to touch

But we never did.

It took every ounce of me

To stay close enough

And not touch.

We got closer though,

And it’s amazing that

Years have passed

And it has stayed that way

Fanning the flames alive.

Sometimes it is the best thing

To stay close enough, and not touch.

You are what I want in a soul mate,

Almost my love, but not close enough.

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A Sunday Moment

A Sunday moment flows and rustles
with depth and loneliness.
Both together fills the void with
silence like deep blue.
No earth, no sky above.
Just me, my breath and my heartbeat,
I now believe I exist.
I exist in that space 
Where I meet myself
Between the love that I’ve lost
And the love that I hope to find.
But I know now that
I am enough for love itself,
That I’ve always been enough,
And, now I’m inhabiting a space 
Where I’ve finally found 
The strength to love myself. 
It took me all these decades 
And a tsunami of emotions
To realise this small truth.
I used to think that Time
Will understand my remorse
And give me more chapters. 
But I know now that 
I am only as good as this moment.
Nothing more, nothing less.
It was never Love’s fault,
It was I who was broken. 
If I have healed today,
It’s because I met myself. 
In retrospect, I’ve paid the most 
For the things I got for nothing. 
Not too many people may get me
But the hardcore do understand,
And if I can touch a few score 
With my heart and mind,
Then it has been a life worth living. 
And, I hope one day I find a love 
That helps me heal others,
That love of me and you. 
Posted in Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Flowing, gratitude, healing, lessons, Life, Looking Ahead, Love, melancholy, Musings, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Relationships, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Holding Hands

The cold night seduces me

To the warmth of the bed.

Pulling up the covers in the dark

I reach out and hold your hand

To make mine less cold.

I ponder about our life together.

More often than not

We’re not on the same page.

Sometimes, I am ahead,

While you fall behind.

Sometimes you race ahead,

While I am still dragging my feet.

Sometimes we seem to be

Inhabiting two different planets.

But the sum of our flaws

Is what makes us whole.

We may not always see eye to eye

And, very often agree to disagree.

But what really matters is that we try.

In the end a happy marriage

Is one where we can both sleep

In peace, holding hands like otters

Comfortably numb, but knowing that

We did our bit to not drift apart.

And, just like that another year goes by,

Even the seven year itch fades too.

We snuggle up every night knowing

That holding hands in the dark

Makes every wrong of the day somehow right.

Posted in Autumn, blessings, Emotions, Experiences, gratitude, healing, longing, Looking Ahead, Love, marriage, Musings, My Life, poem, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Relationships, soulmates, Thoughts | Leave a comment

Unfinished Conversations

Learning to let go of the imaginary

unfinished conversations like

the trees let go of the leaves in Autumn

has been a process of shedding skin

and extra weight that used to

cling to my bloated waist

like the fireflies thronging to light.

I realise that you did not deserve me

and I deserved so much better.

Instead I got stuck on repeat

with a clearly unnecessary cycle

that in turn necessitated

some unfinished conversations

with myself, more than anyone else.

It took me all these years to

finish those conversations

and allow my body to heal.

Thank you Universe for allowing me

time and space to hibernate and recuperate,

to create space where I can cradle the balance

of light and shade in between my palms.

Posted in Autumn, blessings, Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Fall, Feelings, gratitude, healing, lessons, Life, Love, Musings, poem, Poetry, Reflections, Thoughts | Leave a comment

A Moment

In this moment,

Do you realise

That in the next moment

This moment

Is going to die,

A quick crushing death?

So live each moment

As a moment deserves

To be lived, and loved,

Mindfully and slowly.

Seize it and fill it to the brim

With love and nothing else.

And, watch how the moment

Savours you back,

Breathing into your belly

And making you whole,

And giving you a lifetime,

While you let it slide

To celebrate its own death.

Posted in change, Daily Life, Emotions, Experiences, Feelings, Flowing, gratitude, healing, lessons, Looking Ahead, Musings, My Life, poem, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Rumination, Thoughts, time | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment